Sunday, 17 March 2019

That Time I Tried Magic Mushrooms

It should be no surprise to any of you that I am a fucking maniac. I drowned in ACE Juice. I'll tell you in a future video how I am in regular contact with the Dark Lord Satan. I am the soon-to-be legal owner of Snail Mail, as soon as Ubisoft gets back to me, which will surely happen any day now.

This might not be as crazy as some of the above, but it's worth adding to my channel's list of stupid videos with questionable grounding in reality. I'm going to talk to you about the time I took magic mushrooms.

Magic mushrooms, for those of you who don't know, are a psychedelic drug. They're not quite as "rainbows and unicorns" as popular media might have you believe, it's quite a bit different. In fact, especially at lower doses, you might not even get any hallucinogenic effects at all.

A week ago or so, I purchased a box of Agaricus Bisporus mushrooms. For those of you who don't know, these are the standard "magic" mushrooms that most people talk about when they use the term.

Now, I don't really like the taste of mushrooms. In fact, for a long fuckin' time I've really hated the taste of mushrooms. Like a lot. So I just did what anyone would do in this scenario, and I sliced them up and placed them on pizza. Unfortunately, we didn't have any pizza, so I had to make my own. Instead of making a pizza base which takes FOREVER, I thought I'd just spread some tomato sauce on a paper towel, and since I'm vegan I can't eat the cheese.

It's a new take on pizza to be sure, but hey- I did the best with what I had. I cut up the little white mushrooms into slices, put them onto the tomato-y paper towel, and tried my best to stuff it into my mouth. That didn't really work, and I know that those of you who saw my video on ACE Juice will at this point be thinking "What the fuck Alex, why don't you know how to eat".

I just misjudged, and I was nervous. I was about to embark on a spiritual journey, I'm sure anyone else would do the same in my position. With a bit of difficulty, I eventually consumed the entire paper towel's worth of mushrooms.

I waited for about an hour for the effects to kick in, listening to music, browsing Twitter. The usual. And boy oh boy, did they kick in fast. It sounded exactly like someone was banging on my window. My curtain was shut so I couldn't verify this, and I didn't really feel like getting up to check. My first mushroom-induced hallucination. How exciting!


The banging didn't stop, and then it kinda started to sound like someone yelling at me. I was listening to music on my headphones so I couldn't really make out what they were saying. Besides, it goes back to the old saying from Timothy Leary; "Turn on, tune in, drop out". I was turned on by a stray NSFW Twitter post, I was tuned in to my music, and I dropped out of caring why someone was yelling at me.

Another maybe 15 minutes passed and the commotion finally stopped. I figured I was coming down, and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich to get the taste of tomato paper out of my mouth.

Suddenly, my door was kicked in. Someone broke into my house! Naturally, I assumed they were police officers and froze. I had just taken an illegal drug, hadn't I? Of course. My disregard for the law was catching up to me. I know they say live fast and die young, but man. I'm only 18. I would never have thought that I had lived as quickly as I did, and that I would die so young at the hands of the state. Surely I'd be given the death penalty for this. Surely.

Whoever burst down my door quickly found me making a sandwich. Breathless, he said "Alex! Stop what you're doing!"

I thought maybe he was here to warn me about the police on their way to shoot me dead for my transgressions, so I asked why.

"I KNOW what you're doing." He said. "I know that you're making a stupid fucking video-length joke about using the wrong kind of mushroom, and you're going to put this on your YouTube channel and seriously upset everyone. I'm here to just stop you, you fucking maniac."

I really had no idea what he was talking about. I stared blankly for a moment, then responded, "I don't know what you want from me man, and I don't know how you know all this information about me, but that's not what I'm doing."

Then, it suddenly clicked. Suddenly, I knew what was up.

This dude was another hallucination. I wasn't coming down at all!

"Hey! You're a hallucination, aren't you?" I asked.

"What? No, fuck off, you know what you're doing."

Straight up, and because my YouTube channel is a place for me to be honest, I'm gonna tell you that I just straight up started touching his face. I wanted to see how realistic the hallucination was, and man it was pretty realistic. I could feel his face skin, his teeth, his stubble- it was all there, and the whole time he was telling me to go away. Kind of strange how he didn't physically restrain me, but I guess hallucinations can't interact with the real world.

"This is a lost cause, I'm gonna go home and when I get home, I'm gonna unsubscribe." he said as he left, stepping over the splintered remains of my door.

Then I waited. And waited. And waited. And nothing else happened. I assumed that I was coming down for real this time and went to sleep.

Overall, it was a pretty interesting experience. I'd do it again. Didn't taste good though, the paper really ruined it.



Agaricus Bisporus seems to be a very powerful substance. The hallucinations are remarkably realistic, and non-fantastical in nature. This is of course in contrast to my experience with Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms, which was actually a much more interesting experience come to think of it.

19 comments :

  1. mp3 juice cc is very demanded, and everybody would like to get such platform. Here you can indeed found better-chosen files.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am definitely enjoying your website. You definitely have some great insight and great stories. หีนักเรียน

      Delete
  2. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog? My blog is in the exact same niche as yours and my users would certainly benefit fromsome of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this ok with you. Regards! situs judi bola resmi dan terpercaya

    ReplyDelete
  3. This was a shocking post. It has some look at here fundamental data on this subject. Magic Mushrooms

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thankyou to provide such a great information and already i am just fan of your blogs and the fan of the way of the wring skills.
    I have a game to your readers so that they can play their Childhood game and can earn while playing
    Ludo skill is a game which you can download and can play
    https://www.ludoskill.com/How_to_Play.php

    ReplyDelete
  5. Therefore you need to continuously repeat the same words and questions again, and again, and again, and again, in order to make them stick. 토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow, incredible blog structure! How long have you been running a blog for? you made running a blog glance easy. The overall glance of your web site is magnificent, let alone the content! 먹튀검증

    ReplyDelete
  7. nice piece of information on website thank you for sharing.
    i like to share one online cash game for your readers.
    ludo skill

    ReplyDelete
  8. The post is written in very a good manner and it contains many useful information for me. crikmaster likes

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for sharing this blog with us. It will be beneficial for us. If you are thinking for buy magic mushrooms online then onlinediscretesales.net is a good option.

    ReplyDelete
  10. thank you for sharing keep it up, very informative and well written, quite interesting, awesome content,
    download ludoskill and have fun and earn by playing ludoskill.
    :https://www.ludoskill.com/

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is a great article with lots of informative resources. I appreciate your work this is really helpful for everyone. Check out our website z-strain psilocybe cubensis for more Online Legal Psychedelics. related info!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some truly wonderful work on behalf of the owner of this internet site , perfectly great articles . buy magic mushrooms

    ReplyDelete
  13. wonderful Post!! Thanks To Shared With us. we provide buy magic mushrooms at affordable prices. for more info visit our website.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Great website and an interesting post. keep posting. Glad to read this article. Thank you so much for sharing this post with us. Magic mushrooms Canada

    ReplyDelete
  15. I will be looking forward to the video in which you will tell us how you contact with the Dark Lord Satan. Meanwhile, information about magic mushrooms was very interesting. Thanks for this great post. Dissertation Writing Services

    ReplyDelete
  16. Great article, very useful and explanation. Your post is extremely incredible. we provide mail order mushrooms at affordable prices. for more info visit our website.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Wow, What an Excellent post. I really found this too much information. It is what I was searching for. I would like to suggest you that please keep sharing such type of info. magic mushrooms for sale online canada

    ReplyDelete
  18. Loved reading your blog. https://ludoskill.blogspot.com/2020/09/ludo-skill.html

    ReplyDelete